Should an introvert dating an extrovert Free247 camc
But when it comes to making a relationship last how do two people that are fundamentally different make it from fancying each other down t’pub to living together and making it really, properly work? One likes solitude and a bit of peace and quiet most of the time, while the other likes to be out and about socialising.
Yet strangely enough a lot of couples are made up of this exact personality pairing.
Really, you’d probably need a Ph D in psychology to figure this all out - but I’m too old and frankly too cash-strapped to retrain.
So I took the easier option and nosed into the lives of a few nice people to try and understand why introvert-extrovert relationships can be such a winning formula.
I happen to be married to a classic introvert (someone who is usually drained, rather than energized, by large groups of people), while I tend to be much more outgoing. I don't like being alone with nothing to do, because then I just waste time on the Internet until I get a tension headache from staring at a screen, but planned downtime with a movie, a book, or a long walk is wonderful. One-on-one time together is crucial for any romance, but introverts and extroverts often have different ideas of what that should look like. If you're dating someone who values deep, intimate connections but is stressed out by short, casual interactions with lots of people, don't throw a huge party as a way of introducing your love to your work, grad school, college, and book club buddies in one fell swoop.
Introvert-extrovert relationships can be wonderful and satisfying, but they definitely require communication and compromise, which is one thing they have in common with, oh, every other kind of relationship in existence. Is there a specific event you want to attend or person you want to see? Knowing what's a "maybe" and what's a "hard no" for your partner makes it easier to find middle ground. Your introvert partner is not going to adore every single person in your life, so prioritize!
But you still love it because this is the person your heart chose. Staring at him with laser beams in your eyes every time he asks you if you want to go out. I would almost always rather stay inside and you know this. Every time you want to do something together, it's like A Whole Thing. Example: "OK, I'll go to your work dinner with you tonight, but then you have to promise me we can stay on the couch all day Saturday. Watching them instantly connect with everyone in the room like they're an alien. It takes you 20 one-on-one conversations to find someone you feel connected to, and by the end, you're tired.
The thing that made my boyfriend and I so different was our personalities. I like pop music, he likes more a techno-dubstep kind of sound, I love rom-coms, he loves a good action movie(especially if it has Tom Cruise in it).
The question I'm asked more than any other when it comes to relationships is: Are introvert-introvert unions best because they understand each other's ways?
Or are introvert-extrovert couples happier because they balance each other out? Yes, birds of a feather flock together, and yes, opposites attract. "It was stressful being married to an extrovert," says Tone, a 43-year-old pensioner.
If you're an introvert, should you be looking for another introvert, or do opposites attract?
In the below excerpt from Introverts in Love: The Quiet Way to Happily Ever After by Sophia Dembling (out today), experts and real people weigh in on the topic.